Mega Magaluf, Majorca YAP Special

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1.0 Introduction

Hello all, it's been a while, feel like I'm saying that a lot now. With the summer coming up on the horizon I have been trying to book as many holidays as possible. Over last week I went on a lads holiday to Magaluf and boy have I got a story to tell, there will be a lot of weird phrases and quotes through this trip which will give you an idea of how brilliant and silly this trip was. But also as usual I will give you a good rundown on what to expect and what I would rate the trip as a whole. I hope you enjoy it.

2.0 BH Majorca resort

To start of lets talk about where we stayed. As this was a lads holiday, it was important that the main focus of this getaway was to get drunk, have a laugh and look like complete foreigners. Due to the unfortunate restrictions in Spain for all inclusive drinks, there was a drink limitation for Alcohol which meant we could only have a certain amount during eating hours of the day. Not that the people at the bars counted or cared really, but to actually buy an alcoholic beverage you had to buy tokens or pay buy card, since cash cannot be used at the resort. They also gave you a free reusable cup that you must use for the entirety of your stay, if you lose it you would be charge 1 euro.

Ok so I'm not really selling this am I. Well it was an adult only resort so if you are interested in getting away from children and going somewhere without the screaming and shouting, then this is the wrong place to go. It is a nice getaway for adults who don't have to worry as much about getting a bit tipsy and having a laugh.

But I have saved the best for last. So if your a big kid like me then chances are when you saw the pictures of this resort you noticed one thing and one thing only and that would be the slides. I can't even begin to tell you how terrifying and exhilarating

it was. Oh and just a brief side note, the pool is freezing.

2.1 Bobs burn

I'm sure before you leave for your holiday your parents or partners or grandparents will stress the importance of putting plenty of sun cream on. One of my dear friends who was the dad of the trip learned the fatal lesson of this and had completely burnt his shoulders, to a crisp. In his words "god had punished him", as funny as this was at the time I could relate to the pain as I suffered the same fate when I went to Miami earlier in the year. So even if it is just Spain and not the tropics, always remember to pack some sun cream.

2.2 Tit for Tat

Another lecture incoming from the boys. When you go on these holidays, it is important to know your limits and realises when enough is perhaps enough. Although holiday drink limits normally surpass the average home limits because your on holiday, to save you from regret the next morning always remember to stop before the black out stage. Another two of my friends were lets just say living life on the edge, when they decided to get tattoos to finish off there night, the tattoos were the letter L on Robbie's leg and a ginger bread man on Lewis's wrist. Now, this is just my way of thinking, well you are over there you can go crazy, I know I may sound like an old man at this point.

2.4 The nightlife of Maga

One thing I liked the most about clubbing in Magaluf is that it was a seamless and easy experience, other than all the reps and looky looky men which I will touch on later. But the sheer fact that you can just walk into any club, no ID, no paying at the door and no queues, well I was sold by that alone really. When it came to drink prices it all comes down to wear you go, places like Tiger tiger are very expensive, having spirits can cost up to 9 euros and even WKDS are around 5 euros. It can vary though by time, since the later you go the more the drinks are. One of the best clubs that I went to well I was there was called Mr Myogi's, although it played the same kind of music as other places, drinks were reasonable and it wasn't absolutely packed.

One good thing I can at least say about all the clubs is that the drink measurements were off the scales, asking for a JD and coke will get you half a glass worth and I mean like a quadruple. No wonder people get so drunk over there when they literally pour half a bottle into the glass, oh and cocktails as well, I had about 3 cocktails and I was ready to keel over for the night because they are so strong. (Not because I'm a lightweight)

2.4 Lets go to the red lion

I think it's also important to note that since Spain is a big British tourist destination, then you will find your fair share of British named bars and clubs. A prime example would be the Peter Kay favourite, The Red Lion. Why, just why does that even exist in another country, it almost felt like I had left England to land back in England. Pubs called the Britannia and then bars like the EastEnders bar and Linkers Sports bar. I know I'm ranting but just why, in the words of a work colleague of mine it is Blackpool with warm weather. Now for me this was a disadvantage to the holiday just simply because when I leave England I like to leave,.

2.5 Other activities

Other than drink, you can do all sorts. We decided to go to the beach well Bob was recovering from his burns, the beach in Magaluf is great, although you would have to pay for a sun lounger, you can put your blankets on the soft sand and easily relax for hours in the sun. Or you could do what Robbie and Lewis did and burrow yourself into the sand, all in all even though we didn't spend a lot of time there the beach was a great way to remind you that your on holiday. We also did Mini Golf, which was interesting to say the least, the course was just someone's back garden, it was almost like a Dads DIY project that was on a budget. For how bad it looked it was actually quite fun, although at one point I wanted to throw my club into the sea, the course we went to was called the Tropica golf club.

If your a Snooker fan then you will be very happy because I think near enough every pub and bar that we went to also had a Snooker table, so well I have been away I have been practicing. Hopefully will be a Snooker champion one day.

2.6 The problems with Magaluf

I really enjoyed my trip to Magaluf, it was an experience that I am glad I have had but I would never want to go back. One thing that really got on my nerves about places like Magaluf in general was the sheer amount of English people there, it almost destroys the whole culture of going to another country. Which is why I guess it was a good job we went for a drinking holiday, but it was almost like you couldn't really appreciate it because it was full of foreigners. That's not the main problem though, the main issue I have with Magaluf is the aggressive Marketing from reps to go into different clubs. In some ways they did ruin my holiday because of how they speak to you, although I understand it's there job it was almost like they were dissuading you more than anything. Them and the looky looky men were the two biggest annoyances of the trip, although at least the looky looky men weren't as pushy at times. One woman came up to use and called us boring, and I simply replied by saying if you want people to come into your club then don't insult them (silly woman).

2.7 Travel

Traveling there was quite the hassle, although the airport was easy to get through with our fast track security, our departure flights were delayed by an hour due to there being no captain. Once we had landed, passport control was also very busy. Finally once we had left the airport we once again had to wait over 40 minutes for the coach driver to leave and take us to the hotel. I would recommend getting a taxi from the hotel if it is cheap enough as the coaches stop at all the hotels so it took us and hour and a half to get to the hotel. As for coming back yet again our flights were delayed but this time by 2 and a half hours, this was with Ryanair so I do not know what we expected but we made the most of the situation.

3.0 Conclusion

Wow feel like I've really gone on a bit in this one. So all in all it was a truly worth it experience, although I probably would not go again, I am grateful for the fun time and the laughs that were had well we were there. I do think what can make an experience like that better is going with people who you can have a laugh with, so quick shout out to the boys: Robbie, Jay, Bob and Lewis. There will be another YAP on Magaluf which will go over the food and drink we had well we were there and some more infamous quotes and funny moments. So does Magaluf hit the vibe, well I'm sure I would be lying if I said it didn't, I would rate it a solid 8.3 on the vibe scale, all things considered.

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Thank you for reading, stay tuned for the food and drinks YAP on Magaluf coming soon.

Matthew :)

YAPVibe Blogger